Losing it

When I first met my husband, he was so impressed how cool I was when I couldn’t find my contacts one time.  In those days, contacts were expensive and were not expected to be changed more than once a year.  While we looked for a tiny clear plastic lens that somehow would reflect light to signal its location, he marveled how I didn’t get upset.  That was the beginning of our relationship.

But little did he know that it was from already a lifetime of practice.  I lose things all the time. Now, it is even more common place.  I don’t think he thinks it so cool anymore.

“Does anyone know where my glasses are?”

“Did you look in all the normal places?”

“The bathroom, the kitchen table, next to my bed (including under the bed and in the drawer on my night stand), yes, I looked.”

“When was the last time you saw them? Wait, Tziyona what is that hanging from the front of your shirt?”

“Oh right, my glasses.  I try to put them there, so I don’t lose them.” I answered ironically.   And he gives me that look that perhaps I’m losing my mind instead.

I have been losing other things lately.

Weight. A year and half ago, my friend, who will stay anonymous, (because that is her favorite status) forced me into joining with her a diet and a gym with her. We called each other regularly to nudge the other to keep the diet, remind of the penalties of cheating and to set up meetings at the gym.  Our converstations were single minded.

“How was Shabbes?”

“Well, we had a birthday party so I made this unbelievable cake with a cholcate frosting; it was so…”

“Don’t tell me! I don’t want to hear how you ate the cake.  If you cheat it gives me leniency to cheat also.  We are in this together!  Alright that’s it. Today, we have to skip carbohydrates.  Do you want to sign us up today for “Body design”? “

In 6 months we both lost 25 pounds (10 kilos)! Then for the last year we have been able to maintain it with a loss of another kilo.  I love losing!

Also  I happily lost my job.

A friend remarked “it is probably a blessing in disguise.”

“There is no disguise, just a blessing!” I answered.  I loved that I was fired.

(Unfortunately I can’t say it was my first time – but it was definitely appreciated this time.) One great thing, I get unemployment. But the main reason I wanted a change. I was so ready for that ultimate goodbye speech when it came. The unsuspecting new manager didn’t know what hit him.

“We would like to review possible changes in your job.”

“No, don’t bother.  Just fire me.”

“Excuse me.”

I have put in over a quarter of a century catering and cooking. In the back of my mind all I could think that it was time for my next career – writing. All those ideas, stories, declarations and of course (ahem) my words of wisdom collected over 5 decades need a time to be expressed. So I proudly tell all, “I lost my job.” And you dear reader are the reason why.

Losing can be winning.



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