Falling in Love?

Why, when we talk about love, we call it “falling”? Shouldn’t it be building?

Love and other important relationships should not be about going down, but rather building up. So why do we fall in love? And usually out again?

“Falling in love” is like having that first bite of a rich chocolate covered cake. That first bite is jam packed with power, enticing you to take the next bite.  Yet, by the 10th bite (depending on how good the cake is) the taste versus enjoyment starts diminishing.  Falling in love is the same.  If the love is all about the feeling it will be gone pretty quick.

Perhaps a teaser for a movie is a better metaphor. It is a prelude to what still can unfold. The good feeling, flying high, meeting your soul mate is the teaser, but if you want the whole story you need to buy/go/rent the whole movie.  If you want to still feel that love many years from now; you need to work on it, build it, and establish a relationship.

Buy her flowers, sing her favorite song, prepare his special meals, and remember what is important to him, ask about his day.  Love doesn’t happen by itself, you need to build it.

I knew a young man who met the right girl.  He knew she was what he was looking for, and he didn’t want to take a chance of losing her.  He started 2 journals after their first date.  He called them “all the things she likes” and the other “all the things I like about her”.  He looked only for her positive points and learned what she would enjoy. The relationship was built on a solid ground. He actively looked for the good and created a relationship. And now I call him; my son-in-law.

 

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