What does divorce mean for Jews?

Jewish belief is always trying to find the balance. It is not forbidden to get divorced in Judaism but it isn’t meant to be a default option either.

 

It is said when a couple divorces the heavens cry. That is the story. Divorce is allowed and encouraged when warrant; but a couple should try to work on their marriage and make it their first priority.  Even though we live in a society that everything gets thrown away – the concept unfortunately gets into the headset even with marriages. Thus if you walk into a marriage with the idea you can easily get out of it – it won’t work.  You need to have the mindset that this is for life and this is the most important relationship that you will ever have.

 

Yet it is understood that some couples are a mistake, some become mistakes and many times when the couple are not working towards building a relationship they can drift so apart that it is hard to make amends.

 

Divorce is in the man’s duty to hand her a “get” a document written with at least 3 Rabbis. The woman has to accept the get in order for the divorce to be final.  A woman can ask for a get and go to the Rabbis with her request.  If they agree (and in most cases they do) they will try to convince the husband of his duty.  Laws have been made in many states that the giving of a get can’t be used against a women for property rights.

 

I once heard of a sad but beautiful story.  There once was a couple who got divorced at the request of the wife.  Apparently the wife had some major psychological issues; when he was married the husband would not mention her troubles “because she was his wife”. Once he was divorced when people would ask him about her – he wouldn’t say anything about her; because “she was not his wife.”

 

This is a mensch divorced or not. Divorce should never be used as an excuse to destroy another person.  If you were not able to build a relationship whey married – don’t go out of your way of destroying a person when you leave it.

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